This blog continues the thought process begun in my previous blog The “Collapse”, as I continue to read the book “Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers” by Karyl McBride, Ph.D.
“Daughters were often called “the sensitive ones” in the family. They tire of people telling them that they are overreacting to things said or done by other people. Daughters of narcissistic mothers have to work on freeing themselves of this tie to their past. You will feel more normal and less crazy when you understand that any temporary collapse is a normal reaction to a trigger from your history.”
I think that, for me, this is one of the most emotionally damaging and guilt causing labels I’ve had hung on me.
People are constantly telling me that I’m too sensitive, I care too much about what other people think, how other people feel, I let the words and actions of others derail me emotionally and they just don’t understand why I allow that to happen. I’m too emotional and too sensitive.
This feels like a complete dismissal of my feelings, like an oppressive denial of the life experiences that have surely influenced my ability to censor/filter the way my emotions affect me.
I loved what this paragraph said about temporary collapses being normal and a reaction to a trigger from my history. I always feel like a ‘mental case’ when something someone says or does reduces me to tears or wears on my mind for days.
I’m really thankful for the opportunity to gain more understanding of what I’ve been dealing with. My therapy with my Psychologist really only opened the door to beginning to understand how my childhood, the abuse and abandonment of my family impacted my life. As I’m recognizing the various ways my life’s been impacted, I’m trying to learn techniques that will allow me to cope and to minimize the impact.
My next blog will tackle the suggestion for how to handle ‘collapses’ suggested by Karyl McBride, Ph.D.