The last chapter in the book “Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day” by Anne Katherine, M.A. is entitled “Your Safe Country”.
“A remarkable change can grow in your life as you practice the art of setting boundaries. Your life take on more definition. You know who you are more clearly. Time and energy are freed for your chosen pursuits. People gain respect for you.
As you set clear boundaries in different situations, you may begin to discover yet another benefit. As boundaries knit together, we begin to have a clearer sense of our spiritual presence in the world. Although boundaries are a practice, a defined behavior, they also carry us to a wider place within ourselves, a place where we discover what our lives are really about.”
You can’t imagine how much energy is being used by defenses until you set strong enough boundaries with the people who would sip your lifeblood.
When applied in the right places with the appropriate amount of firmness and dimension, they make way for entire possibilities that aren’t even dimly formed until you are free.
Each time you set a boundary and dissolve a defense, you pave your way to your own safe country, your own unique territory that is the fulfillment of your life and your mission.”
Setting boundaries and enforcing them is something to be practiced and learned. I haven’t mastered boundaries yet, not by any stretch of the imagination, I’m a boundary novice, but I’ve learned the value of them and have, indeed, put a few into place.
There’s something comforting about the idea of my own ‘safe country’ and an ‘unique territory’ that is my fulfillment and my mission.
I am beginning to feel a lot better about myself, about life. My family is happier and have noticed the changes. I’m not nearly as stressed over things as I was, learning to take things as they come, rather than worrying about things that haven’t happened yet. I’ve been able to tell friends ‘no’ without feeling guilty.
I’m making some decisions about setting new goals for myself, thinking more positively about the future. I know looking at the big picture, I’m just beginning my journey, but I do feel as if I’ve made a lot of progress, which encourages me about what’s possible. Will I have set backs, yes, that’s to be expected, but as long as I keep moving forward, I feel good.