I guess I’m “flyin’ my freak flag” and I didn’t even know it. *rolling my eyes*
Over the weekend I contacted the sponsor of my Support Group to let her know how the last meeting went, as she likes to be updated about attendance, speaker, outreach, etc. After explaining to her that no one attended and sharing with her what I wrote about in “Suspension & New Strategy” her response to me nearly knocked me out of my chair.
The short time I’ve had to get to know you, I know you’re a control freak.
I have asked this person repeatedly for help, suggestions, guidance, to help me make decisions about the group. Her response to me consistently has been …
It’s your group! You make the decisions, it’s all up to you. There is no ‘right’ way to run a Parent Support Group. Figure out what you want to do, then get it done.
I held an organizational meeting asking motivated parents to help out with the group, to share the responsibility for managing the group. I asked those who attended for ideas, suggestions, what they might want to or be able to do to help with the group. The only thing I asked of them was to coordinate with me so we weren’t duplicating each others efforts.
One person really wanted to be involved, tweaking my agendas, redoing things I’d already done, made calls on her own, duplicated contacts, made lots of suggestions, etc. I never stepped on her enthusiasm until I said “no” about completely changing the format of our meetings.
I’ve asked parents on the Facebook group for suggestions, ideas, and input as to what they want and need.
My sponsor tells me she greatly appreciates how organized I am, the expertise I bring to the group, the experiences I have to offer, that I’m the “perfect person” to run this group and that many of my ideas about the group are things she’d have never thought of.
She’s known me (primarily over the phone – we’ve only been face to face 3 times) since late April, 2012. We’ve talked almost exclusively about her organization and the support group. She truly knows nothing about me as a person, a parent, an advocate, yet she’s decided she can accurately label me a ‘control freak’ and is justified in doing so.
If asking for help, looking for ideas, input and suggestions, looking for people to work with, delegating and asking people what they think they could contribute, etc. is being a control freak what the heck is someone who has to do everything themselves, won’t trust anyone else to take responsibility, has to be involved in every aspect of a project?
Another blog is coming regarding assumptions, labels and unfounded accusations. This is a topic that really frustrates me and I have a lot more venting to do before I will feel better about it.