This past weekend was very busy at our home. The weather was beautiful for the first time this year, temperatures were in the low 70’s (f).
My husband and I decided there were some things in the backyard that needed attended to so he went into the back corner of the yard and began clearing some brush and vines from that area, then he moved onto the neighbor’s property to help her remove a stump that she was working on last Summer.
I felt bad, sitting on the glider, watching him work, when there were things that needed done, that I thought I could do.
I came into the house and got my power chair. My son came out and helped my husband take the Christmas lights down from the roof… yes I know, I know, it’s been nearly 4 months since Christmas, this was the first time the ground has been dry enough to support the ladder and the weather warm enough to go up and take them down.
My husband brought a small rake out and I began to roll around our parking area, raking loose stones out of the grass that were chucked up into the yard by the snow blower. I was able to rake some leaves and vines away from my accessible ramp.
My husband rearranged things in the utility shed while I pushed the garbage tote over and raked loose items from the bottom of it into a big green trash bag, then I pulled the garbage bag out of the pooper scooper bucket where I collect doggy doo from the yard and bagged that up with the trash.
Our neighbor came home and came out to talk to my husband, so I rolled into the yard behind the shed and raked up the loose pieces of bark left from when my husband split logs for the fireplace.
Sunday I made dinner, chopped celery, boiled potatoes and eggs for potato salad for his lunches this week. I made him some chicken salad and put a sandwich together for his lunch on Monday (today).
My husband did laundry and I folded it so it could be put away.
Today I went into the backyard, unlocked the shed and got the window screens out. It took me more than an hour to move around the house, putting them in the windows (which required pushing them up and snapping them into place).
I’m so sore, aching, can hardly move.
I am constantly trying to adapt daily living to mitigate my disability, to continue to be a contributing member of my family. Yes, I often push myself too hard and suffer for days after, I know I need to be more careful about what I try to attempt from the seat of my power chair, but I don’t like to watch others struggle if I can help. When I have a good day, I feel I need to take advantage of it because there aren’t that many of them.
I will not give in to my disability. Yes, it’s prevented me from working, I don’t know from day to day what my pain level will be, whether I’ll even be able to get dressed by myself, or use the toilet alone, but there are times when I just feel the need to push, pay the consequences later.
I will not let it define me or dictate my role within my family. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people use their health issues as an excuse to treat people poorly, to get sympathy, to give up trying.
I know tomorrow will be a high pain level day. I’ll find a way to cope with it, take some prescription pain medication, perhaps have a lie down while my son is volunteering. Each day, one at a time.