My husband attended his Uncle’s viewing and funeral today. He was a pall bearer and the ceremony included full military honors, as his Uncle served in the Pacific theater as a member of the Navy.
He was concerned about having to see his sister and nieces, hoping they would just avoid him, considering all the pain they had caused.
He told me that our youngest niece was already there when he got there, with her husband and year and a half old daughter (the one she refused to let us know had been born, after taking several hundred dollars worth of baby clothes and supplies from us). She made a point of bringing the baby over to him and introducing her.
His sister told him life is too short to not see each other or talk, that she wanted him in her life. He said he told her he couldn’t say anything, he didn’t want to start something at the funeral.
He said that before he left he spoke to his mother, telling her what his sister had said, but letting her know that he didn’t think he could ever let her back into his life, that it would probably never happen, he couldn’t handle any more of her nonsense and lies. He reminded her that she’d hurt he and I several times and this last incident really hurt our son. She apparently told him she understood and he had to do what was best for him.
Now we are both concerned that his sister won’t let it alone, expecting her to try to re-establish contact.
He recently told me he has long thought that his sister has wanted to see us broken up, out of jealousy, as she’s been married three times and still is not happy and we’ve been married 29 years next month.
She’s managed to come between us and our nieces and us and his mother on numerous occasions in the past, causing a great deal of family friction and deep rifts between family members.
They, his sister and her daughters, have always seemed to believe that they could get away with hurting me, excluding our son, and still somehow maintain or re-establish their relationship with my husband, as if he shouldn’t/wouldn’t care or be effected by their treatment of his family. Today was no exception, they were quick, while they had us separated, to try to persuade him how much they wanted him in their lives.
I truly am at a loss as to why so many people seem to believe that he or I possess infinite tolerance for their nonsense, that they can do whatever they wish, treat us however they choose and we will always welcome them back into our lives and willingly accept more of the same treatment.
Who in their right mind would continue to put themselves in the position of being tormented, abused or disrespected and disregarded over and over again? At some point even the most tolerant person has to say enough.
We have reached that point. ENOUGH! Life is too short, for all this fussing and fighting, so rather than subject ourselves to it yet again, we say we’ve had enough. That’s self preservation, taking care of oneself.