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So much has happened since I put this blog on hold (so to speak). It seemed like life had become an out of control roller coaster.

Our pets have been struggling with their health since October. My 14 year old cat, Sylvester was diagnosed with chronic renal failure in August. He was in and out of the hospital through October with bladder infections and problems urinating. In October we saw another Veterinarian and discovered he’s not actually in renal failure, but rather, renal insufficiency, which means it’s the early stages of renal failure, his kidneys aren’t consistently emptying. He was put on prescription cat food to help his kidneys function more efficiently.

After years of our Veterinarian ranting that my 7 year old Husky needed to gain weight, she informed us he’s 10 lbs. over weight and she wants him to lose weight. We had to change his whole diet and how often we offered him treats. He’s not been a very happy camper since this change. With Winter arriving, my ability to walk him twice a day evaporated, as I can’t take my chair out in the snow and ice, so while we’re trying to trim him down a bit, his exercise has significantly decreased. The cold weather and decrease in activity has exacerbated his arthritis.

My 11 year old cat, Oreo began losing a lot of weight in October. He began to ‘swim’ with his hind feet, stopped walking on his paws and started walking on his haunches. We visited the Vet and discovered that he’s diabetic. The diabetes caused laxity in his tendons, so he’s permanently disabled now. His blood glucose was 502! He’s now on insulin twice a day, a special diet and I had to learn to not only inject the insulin but test his blood glucose level. The expense of this is staggering… a vile of insulin costs $101, 100 syringes cost $40. We had to buy a glucometer, test strips, lancets, etc. His prescription food costs $69.99 for a 17 lbs. bag.

While all of this was coming to light, my husband was put on mandatory overtime at work. 5 nine hour days and 1 six hour day a week. On occasion he was working 6 nine hour days a week. The overtime started in late September or early October and is still ongoing. While the money is helpful, of course, I’ve had to take on more responsibility at home, with less opportunity to talk to and consult him.

I usually enjoy the holidays, look forward to them with great anticipation, but this year, they seemed to come and go without much ado. This December marked the twentieth anniversary of my father’s passing. It also marked the third Christmas without our Godson in our lives and my friend of 38 years decided last Autumn that she wasn’t going to visit anymore until the weather warmed up.

As a result of all these changes and my husband being absent so much, I found myself feeling extremely overwhelmed, extremely emotional. I was crying at least once a day, sometimes feeling extremely angry and lashing out. I felt exhausted and wanted to nap every day. I talked to my doctor and she put me back on an anti-depressant.

I saw and do see this as a huge setback. I had been off anti-depressants for nearly 15 years. I have to admit, I do feel better, the tears and angry outbursts are under control, but even that makes me feel somewhat defeated, as if I couldn’t handle these changes on my own, without the help of prescription medication.

~ * ~

I saved this blog as a draft and just came back to it today.

I’ve not needed the anti-depressants for nearly two months and now only have something I can take when things become particularly difficult or overwhelming.

Earlier this month my new doctor discovered that my vitamin D levels were nearly non-existent. She put me on 4000mg of vitamin D3, 1200mg of Calcium with D and ordered a bone scan to see if there was a reason, other than the degenerative joint disease (advanced osteoarthritis) that we were already aware of. The scan was very painful for me, it took days for me to recover from the pain.

Waiting to have the scan scheduled was brutal, knowing they use bone scans to detect not only arthritis, but bone cancer. Knowing we already had been aware of the arthritis for some 20 years, I feared she suspected bone cancer, especially since cancer and bone cancer in particular are prevalent in my father’s side of the family.

It turned out the arthritis has advanced, but nothing more was detected. While the arthritis is incredibly painful, it’s a better finding than cancer. I was relieved.

I’ve been put on a different blood pressure medicine, a new additional pain medication and a prophylactic asthma treatment to accompany my rescue inhaler.

It seems as if the emotional overload is nearing it’s end. I feel like we’ve had a lot of difficult hurdles to overcome and done so. We may not have done so with the greatest finesse, and it might not have been pretty, but things seem to have evened out.

I’m hoping to get back to this blog on a more regular basis, as I’ve missed this form of release. Hoping that everyone who reads this is doing well and looking forward to the onset of Spring.

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