I am a woman in my late-forties, a wife for more than 28 years, the mother of an adopted son with special needs who is now an adult. I am a woman with disabilities, who survived child abuse and made it a focus of my life to help others.
I’ve lost most of my childhood family, whether it be through death or their own choosing. I’ve determined throughout my lifetime that this separation has been in my best interest, though it is difficult to lose your family, the experience has certainly helped me to grow and through that growth I’m finding myself.
I spent some 7 years in therapy, both individual and group. I participated in a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) support and treatment group through which I gained a great deal of insight. I learned how to reflect and do the introspective work I needed to do to understand better who I am and why.
I’m a very emotional person, very sensitive and easily hurt. I tend to want to ‘rescue’ others, so they don’t have to feel or experience what I have felt, but in doing so, realize I’ve robbed them of the learning experiences that will allow them to grow and know their own strength.
I believe I’m ready to look at the good and the bad parts of my journey, the people I’ve shared my path with and the people who’ve moved on, who’ve left an impression, and the contributions I’ve made to my own journey and choosing a path to follow.
And so I write this blog for my own peace of mind, as a personal exploration and to gain understanding of myself and the choices I’ve made throughout my life, how they have influenced who I am and what path I travel. I write this blog as a coping strategy, to express my fears and anxieties, to examine my role in relation to the roles others play in my life and to work through my struggles, depression and doubts, to express the feelings (good, bad or indifferent) that I would choose not to share with others directly.
Let the ‘journaling’ begin…
UPDATE: I just celebrated my 50th Birthday and this year I will have been married 30 years. I’m hoping that my life experiences will have meaning and possibly help someone else who might be struggling or feel alone. March 16, 2014